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homophobes include:

travis. calls inanimate objects gay. repeats the ‘how do you view lesbian relationships’ joke at a gradually increasing volume. still thinks it’s funny.

briana. ships/fetishes any and all cute male characters. won’t be friends with lesbians because she doesn’t want them to hit on her. says lol too much.

rylee. kisses girls at parties in front of her crush and his friends. doesn’t think anyone should use labels because she doesn’t. it’s not cheating if it’s with a girl.

james. says lesbians need to know a good man when they find one. his crush is gay so he writes poetry full of cigarette metaphors about her. is a nice guy.

helen. her daughter came out over the holidays and helen doesn’t want grandma to find out. thinks she’s doing it for attention. wants to speak to your manager.

shannon. marriage equality is against god. reads blogs by moms of nine kids who write letters to their daughter’s future husbands. prays for helen’s daughter.

robert. refers to his infant son as a lady’s man. says he’s not a homophobe because he’s not afraid of gays he just finds it gross. played football in college.

sarah. hates the sin but loves the sinner. says she’s uncomfortable with lesbians in the girls’ locker room. has a bible quote in her instagram bio.

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